Monthly Archives: June 2017

Why People Don’t listen to you?

There are 10 reasons Why People Don’t listen to you
1. You’re always crying while speaking.
2. You’re Sel Obsessed in your talks
3. You Speak continuously without a pause
4. You are bad listener
5. You make others wrong
6. You manipulate
7. You are not passionate
8. You lack knowledge
9. You forget what you are saying
10. You’re always negative.

Image on Listening why people don't listen to you. A headphone as metaphor of ears of the people.

Why people don’t listen to you?

Well, ask anyone, he or she will tell you the same that people don’t listen to them. It is fact. We human beings don’t listen to each other. We just hear each other, that too only to hear and understand what we want to hear and understand. We don’t listen to get the other perspective on the matter. So, how do you deal with it when you have to communicate something but people don’t listen? No, I am not going to tell you today in this article on how to communicate effectively. We first need to look a why people don’t listen to you. Let us understand above mentioned 10 reasons in detail.

1) People Don’t listen to you because You’re always crying while speaking.
– Have you ever noticed that people’s expression change when you continue crying/complaining about others non stop? Most people will not react to it but their listening will goaway the moment they continuously listen to panic talks. Everyone loves gossips abt others but not at the cost of pleasant experience. You being a complaint maniac about people,places,process,things can have developed a notorious reputation about you. People may not listen to you unless forced or have no way to escape. I am not being rude. I am telling you the truth. When I say this, I am also included in this.

2) People Don’t listen to you because You’re Self Obsessed in your talks
– ‘I’ is the most important word for you than ‘We’?
– ‘Me’ is the more used word than ‘US’ in your conversations?
Possibility is that you are self obsessed. Now that is human. You don’t find anything wrong talking about yourself. Do talk about your self. But the conversations with family members, office colleagues, clients should not be only self focused.

3) People Don’t listen to you because You Speak continuously without a pause
– Take a pause while speaking. Be realistic and human in your talking. Don’t speak like robots do. You are not machine. Are you? What? Do you really don’t pause while speaking? Then it is obvious that people will get bored and wont listen to what ever you are saying. They will just pretend to listen, but are not listening.

4) People Don’t listen to you because You are bad listener
– What? If I am speaking…how can be listening ? That is what you thought in the mind? There you are. You just read this point and made your mind that this point is unfair or illogical even before I elaborate it. Got it ? No? Ok Listen. Many a times when you note that people are not listening because you interrupted them while they were speaking. Now as as you were not listening to them hence you interrupted, , means you are bad listener. As you interrupted them inbetween, the other party will not listen to what you are saying and then you complain that people are not listening to you. Got it now? Not yet? Ok let me put it in one line….Sometimes you live in a myth that you started the conversation and others are not listening but it is the rever situation. Notice this next time when you feel not listened by your peers. Possibility is that in some cases you will find how you have been screwing the conversations.

5) People Don’t listen to you because You make others wrong
– If you converse only to prove others wrong…why would someone listen to you? You just have to put the facts without using labels such as right or wrong. With this self-help article, I am not trying to make you wrong but help you improve your speaking skills so that you don’t have to continuously complain ( or run Rackets as they say in Landmark Forum) Why should you believe that I am not making you wrong? Well the answer lies in the introductory paragraph. Can you notice these lines…..”We human beings don’t listen to each other”….Yes dear. I am not making you wrong. We all do it. It is just habit which we need to change. You are awesome. I want you to be awesomest 🙂

6) People Don’t listen to you because You manipulate
– Yes You. You manipulate. People are interested in real talks and not manipulations. No one wants themselves to be fooled. What did you think? Btw, You are still awesome. It is just that you need to be honest and fact based in the conversations with others. We all need to be honest. But I am using the word ‘YOU’ because it is you who is spending your precious time to listen to me to help your friends,relatives,peers,boss,employees listen you better and effectively. You can do it (y)

7) People Don’t listen to you because You are not passionate
– Will you listen to a leader who is not passionate about what he speak? Will you feel for the heroic character if the dialogues don’t match the passion the director wants us to feel? No.
If your conversation lacks passion, people will be bored. You start looking into your mobile phone when the speaker lacks the passion in what he is talking. He loses you as an audience. If you do the same, you to lose a listener just because you were not passionate enough.

8) People Don’t listen to you because You lack knowledge
– Will you believe in a doctor who doesn’t have any knowledge about his field?
– Will you believe in a promise of a politician who seems knowledge less
– Will you believe in your boss if doesn’t know what he is speaking?
When you open your mouth, you use words, words form sentence, sentences form talk and talk transmits some knowledge. If you are just bluffing here and there, the listener will get you and will reduce the listening.

9) People Don’t listen to you because You forget what you were speaking
Articulation is a skill. If you lack it, you may are at risking of diverting topics from A to F to S To Z.
When you get carried away in the direction you forget from where you started the talk and when you took detour in the conversation. The listener already has lesser time…why would he listen to you when you are not sure what you are talking about?

10) People Don’t listen to you because You are always negative.
You talk negative about yourself,situations,organisations you work for. You talk negative about world, politics, celebrities. What new you are doing? What value you are creating for the listener? Why would stop listening others and start listening to you when everyone is already so negative and you don’t have anything different to offer? Talk positive. Pass good vibes in your surroundings.

I hope you will appreciate my efforts to help you realize potential reasons why People don’t listen to you. Now, read how you can be effective in communication so that others listen to you?

Is Landmark Forum a Cult or MLM scam?

If ever you have been told by your near or dear one be it family member, friend, neighbor, employee, colleague, boss, husband, wife, boyfriend or girl friend about his or her participation in three days landmark forum, and if you see them forcing you to participate the landmark forum you will find that something has happened to them. The people who want you to do landmark forum are so compassionate that their force brings negativity in the conversation when you right away say no as you would not spend big money for just three and half day self help programme that too recommended by someone who has just attended it and is yet to achieve the results. When such negativity around landmark forum and the person is created in your mind, the first thought that comes to you mind is….what made that person invite you to spend your weekend and big money ? You will either find it MLM scheme, or a scam or cult that brainwashes the followers and forces the participants to bring more participants. You don’t exactly know happens inside the three and half day Landmark forum that happens inside closed doors with lots of privacy. You begin to doubt your near and dear one’s motives of inviting you to such self help programmes. Let me put across a point of view to tell you how Landmark forum is not cult, scam or mlm scheme.

What is Landmark forum ?
– Landmark forum is one of the flagship self help training programme offered to individuals world wide. The programme is conducted From Friday early morning to Sunday late night.
Timings for each day are 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. They would have Lunch break, dinner break, and couple of small break at the regular interval of 3 hrs.
–  Lunch and dinner are not provided at the Landmark forum. The participants have to manage them on their own. Also, during a lunch break, participants need to do certain exercise given in the previous session. So most people prefer to bring food from home or visit a near by restaurant.
– As per Landmark Forum official website the three days schedule includes sessions on Already Always Listening™,The Hidden Power of Context,The Vicious Circle™,Rackets™: The Payoff and the Cost,The Illusion of Someday: Rethinking Possibility
Freedom from Anxiety,How Identities Get Constructed,The Pervasive Influence of the Past ,Change vs. Transformation. All these are called landmark distinctions which help you to complete the past, live in the present and invent the future you would love to live in.
– At the regular intervals they offer the landmark forum participants to register for Advance course. The participants are pursued for the good as one single foundation course won’t be enough to deal with number of things.
– The participants are pursued-ed to invite their friends,family members and other near and dear ones to come and register for the Landmark forum. Those who can’t invite or are not ready to invite others are pursued-ed but not tortured or given any monetary motivation.
– During this three and half days, most the participant realise how they are stuck in the past which is costing their present in fear of future. At landmark forum they realise how they became who they are today. They realize that they are result of circumstances and some decisions they made in rough situations. They realise why their relations with others are not good. And for everything, they realise that it is them who need to repair things instead of blaming others. As soon as the realization comes, the individuals invent a possibility of new improved life for themselves and others in their lives.
– Once they come out of the forum, they realize that it is them who have done landmark and not the world. The powerful participants when reconnect with existing world on Monday onward, the encounter problems,cynicism, and not so good experience from the people around. But as they have done landmark forum, they know that they have certain tools to deal with breakdowns. Not everyone gets it perfectly at forum  hence a 2-3 months long seminar programmer is offered for free. The seminar is strong revision of what the participants acquired at forum. The Landmark Forum in Action seminar provides a structure of coaching and support to practice and use distinctions to apply to your daily life in order to deal with breakdowns and get breakthroughs in relationship, business etc.
– The forum helps you break the artificial identity of yours and build a powerful person without running away from your responsibilities.

So…..Why Landmark forum is not cult?
– Well, Landmark forum is not cult because Landmark forum is not cult.
If you see and use the word CULT to relate to something which brainwashes the participant to gain monetary and physically from them and they stop them seeing the world from their own eyes, separated from near and dear ones, then Landmark forum is not cult. Landmark forum gives you one more perspective to look at the life. In the beginning of the forum only the participants are told that they are many programmes in the world who promise to give the same outcome to the participants but landmark is different in terms of methodology and results achievement. They don’t separate people from their family and friends. In fact they reunite them by making the participant realize their own mistake for not taking of that relation.
The realization doesn’t happen easily. The participants go through emotional turmoil. Some don’t wish to go through it authentically hence label it as brainwashing.

So… Why Landmark forum is not MLM scam?
– What is MLM scam in the first place? And why do you think Landmark forum is MLM scam?
Well in MLM scams what happens is…that people are motivated to aggressively bring more and more members for monetary returns. The new members are offered the same monetary returns. The members are asked to make some investment first before they start making money. Initially the MLM scamster give out the payment but once their target of getting money via investment fee of new members is achieved, the MLM companies are shut, the owners runaway and the participants lose their money and hope both. Now, nothing of this short happens with Landmark forum. The landmark forum participants are pursued-ed to invite their near and dear ones and register for the forum. Yes, they are emotionally pursued, sometime called selfish that they don’t want their relatives to get the same benefit they have achieved through this forum. Well, this is their sales tactic which doesn’t go well with many people. But for no reason it is a MLM scam. No participants are offered monetary returns to make members. Also, they are offering self development programme and not some money in return as promised in MLM scams. Many people make mistake of calling Landmark forum an MLM scam as the participants who have tremendously achieved want their known people to achieve the same and they do this with force same as MLM members do.

Thus, The Landmark forum is not cult.  The Landmark forum is not MLM scam.
The landmark forum is selfhelp programmes where people reinvent themselves to get free from the clutches of past, start living in the present and invent beautiful future by firmly dealing with daily breakdowns and creating breakthroughs using leadership distinctions learnt at the forum.